Wattpad better give me a day’s premium subscription for free!
My English teacher took a substitution. We somehow went from discussing the chapter to books to Wattpad. There were many of us but only 2 other girls (offline) and I (online) were active. We were discussing something about teenage phases, from that we came to reading as hobby, then we started discussing our reading habits. We shared some authors and books. Then we came to Wattpad. I was the first one to speak on it. I told her that it’s and e-book platform for free and that my mom is sick of me reading it all the time. What I didn’t expect is that the other two girls also read it. We told ma’am about it- chats, communities, books, authors, etc. One of the girls legit made a Wattpad account on ma’am’s phone. Ma’am was intruiged by it and asked which app it is, so she not only installed it, she made the account and set it up as she liked.
It’s actually good that we have such teachers who are open to new things and are not stuck up. And discussing such things is always fun. But I still found it funny how we conviced the teacher to come on Wattpad just by talking about our experiences.
Song of the day…
How Far I’ll Go by Alessia Cara. It’s about a girl stuck between the choice of pleasing herself or her kingdom. I really like this song. 1. the vocals are so so amazing, 2. the music is unique- it adds weight to the song but also makes it light.
Something I don’t talk about a lot because no one relates😐
There are people who have loads of space because they always keep their things neatly organised. There are people who would never have empty space because of how messy their room is. Then come people like me who are super organised yet don’t have any kind of space. Let me tell you why.
I have been trained to be organised since childhood and one thing is for sure that being organised is very handy. But I am too organised. I can make the tiniest room neat and the biggest room full with my skills. Give me a room of any size, it would be less spacious for me. I will have loads to free space but no space to keep my things at the same time. How? I keep my things in an orderly manner and if anything that does not fit in that order has to be kept, I will make a separate section for it. This practice does keep my things tidy but it requires space which ultimately ends. So I keep the most random things together according to their number, shape or whatever suitable. I have specific boxes for the most random and least required things lol😅.
tidying up is a very quirky trait of mine. I rarely leave my surroundings messy. It frustrates me if I see things not organised properly.
This blog is here because 1. I thought this was funny and 2. I want to know people with these kind of habits. My personal favourite way of organising is using the corners. Be it box, drawer, almirah or room, putting things in the corner gives me an unknown feeling of satisfaction, mainly because I know they won’t fall over because of the support. Hehe.
Fire by BTS. It’s a punk, hip hop song with amazing beats and music. It’s a song that forces me to move my body to the music. This song is fire🔥. Fire is fire🤭
Just a rant on my experiences and why I don’t like wearing makeup
I have applied a fair share of makeup due to stage performances. What I learned about it is that applying and maintaining is a lot of work for me. There is this weird wiring in me that makeup will ruin my skin. This is true when one applies loads of makeup on daily basis. Not when I put tinted lip balm and eye liner once in a while. But this much only is enough to make me back away. I get too self conscious after applying makeup I will ask someone a thousand times if it suits me and still not feel convinced. Also after applying makeup you have to be careful not to smudge it. Then after you are done you have to clean it. Too much work. Why? My natural face is much more better. Most people who wear makeup wear it everywhere they go. Not all but most. So naturally they take a lot of time getting ready. Even if they wear lipstick and kajal, it will take them time to choose which color. One more thing! How do people choose which color to wear among so many which look almost the same. The only difference is their name.
Wearing makeup is a big task for me. I wonder how people wear it all the time and are so confident. Makeup and I are far apart. I think of it as a big deal if I apply kajal only. So when I did once, I told everyone individually that I am wearing it. My bestie said my mom must be happy I am acting like a girl. Lol.
Note: This blog is just my experience and opinion. It does not apply to everyone so don’t come at me arguing about it.
Now, song of the day!!
Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko. It’s an upbeat song with amazing tunes. I relate to this song so much I feel it’s written specifically about me. It’s seriously underrated.
I wore a dress for 2 hours and ran to change into casuals
It was Diwali yesterday and it is a big festival in my country. We dress up a lot on Diwali. I dressed up too. I wore a fancy gown and did my hair and put accessories. I seriously felt like a princess. While everyone was getting ready and hyping over their looks, my mind was screaming “I look like a fucking princess! I am not a goddamn princess! I am a King” Yeah I know overdramatic but that’s me. I dress up once in a year- on Diwali and oh my it’s so hard. A cousin of mine recommended I put lip tint. I did but it was so sticky I decided my lips are better off without anything on them. I was waiting for all the ceremonies to be done and I clicked some pictures and changed in jeans top. Oh god it felt so good not having a big bag on me! I can’t wear such things for a long time coz they need too much care. As good as I feel after dressing, coming back to casuals is coming back to home. I always prefer comfort over looks and I like it like that.
I just wanted to share this with someone otherwise this blog has no point of existence.
Fall by EMM. Powerful beats and vocals and calming music. This song is about a person expressing their fear of falling again. I really like this song. I relate to this a lot except I am not telling anyone anything.
My experience of overcoming my shyness and finally making friends.
I recently realised one thing. Every school has that weird kid, who doesn’t talk much but tries to mingle with everyone, who jumps from one group to another. I was that weird kid.
I didn’t tell a lot about me to people. I would make pointless conversations and babbled literally anything whenever someone talked to me. It is like everything in me shut down upon human interaction. But I managed by speaking some thing or the othee and get through. That’s why it is hard for my mom to accept that I am not as much of a social butterfly as she thought. Anyways, I realised my shutting down of brain a year ago and I tried to improve. Of course, the outcome wasn’t the best but hey I tried! After that I decided to keep my conversations to minimal. I don’t speak unless it is needed. And this has really helped in decreasing the number of embarrassing moments in front of strangers.
April 2019, I still remember the days when I stepped in my new school and whenever someone tried to talk to me, I messed up. Not always but mostly. But somehow, I am glad I messed up. I am glad I was frank and put my shyness behind. Because by doing that, I found my friends.
We went to a school trip when 7 months of the session were already passed (Nov 2019). By this time, I was the certified outcast. So while my whole class sat at the extreme back, I had to sit in middle-front. There also, I didn’t have a lot of choice in seats as the only available was with a girl from a different section. In front of that girl, two of her friends also sat. We didn’t interact one bit while going, just singing songs with the others who were around us. While coming back, they were talking about something and my butt intervened. We started talking and it was a pleasant conversation. Apparantly, they had more friends but they were in a different bus.
They invited me to have lunch with them the next day. I went. Courageous? I know! They introduced me to their other friends. These guys were a total of 2 boys and 6 girls. Now, 2 of those new girls didn’t like me simply because their friends hung out with me during the lunch instead of them. The boys were chill. The next day I went with them again and this became my routine. Slowly, the girls who didn’t like me also started liking me. Well… not both but one of them. She realised it’s not my fault and that she was just being a bitch because the group was going through a hard time. I got the info and helped them. Like seriously their fight was so easy to solve, they just needed to communicate that’s all. Now that I helped them out, everyone liked me and decided to make me part of the group.
That one bitchy girl hated my guts and then turned other 3 girls against me too. They thought I came to sabotage their friendships or something. Wow!
Days, months, a year passed. And now my friends are those two boys and that one self- reflecting girl. 2 of them left the group, the others are too much to handle. They are the kind of people who don’t like it when you don’t invite them on your birthday even if you’re not friends at all. They will shamelessly hate on you but expect you to involve them. Yeah, those kind of bitches. I have to interact with them sometimes only because of my friends but I maintain my distance. My friends know it and they support me. Only my girl friend talks to them coz they are besties since a long time, but the boys and I keep our distance.
Anyways, that was my storytime. I really wanted to share this because this was an adventure for me. It still is. Making friends is not easy at all and we are never certain of some things. But what we can do is move on and enjoy! And don’t let your shyness get the best of you. Sometimes, it is okay to loosen up and have fun. Don’t tell them everything about yourself. If they ask, dodge the questions or straight up tell them you don’t want to talk about it. One thing you always need to remember is that when you are doing something you like and think your friend might not like you like that, recall that they are supposed to be your friend. They should accept you the way you are. So be confident and be bold! Coz no one will love you unless you love and respect yourself!
Now, it’s time for the song of the day!!
Comin’ Thru The Stereo by Hollywood Undead. A rock song which is simply dope. The song is addressing inner battles and flexing at the same time. The vocals, as always are so freaking good! They come off so strong I wonder how much they had to train themselves
1. Love is a stupid feeling forcing people to stay. Doesn’t matter if it’s for better or worse, love makes the person sacrifice some of their most important things and stay with the other. While it can be very heartwarming, it’s not really practical. It dismantles all the priorities and confuses the heck out of the person.
2. Love gives expectations. People in love tend to expect from each other. Expectations wary from too small to too big. They are the small, sweet gestures of gifting a flower everyday and the “perfect proposal” both.
3. When someone loves a person, they want that person to understand them. But when that person can’t do that, they lose their self-worth. They feel that if the person they love doesn’t understand then no one will and that, their thinking is invalid.
4. When in love, people let the other person disrespect them and don’t do or say anything. They put their other half above themselves. They are like-“oh he/she is like that only. Everyone has their flaws bla bla bla”. Bullshit. Everyone has their flaws, true. But they can put the other down? No.
5. Love breaks hearts. When in love, people get ignorant and ultimately get their hearts broken. The heart break can be due to the above points mentioned too.
These were my views on why falling in love is risky, be it anyone. These are only my opinions and I do not intend on establishing any rule or offending anyone. Please feel free to share your views on the topic too. Now, song of the day!!
Changes by Hayd. The lyrics come from a person going through changes and not knowing how to explain it to their loved ones. The music is simple piano. The song is the quiet kind of song and is so calm.
Being a Teenager has its perks but downfalls too. I’ll cover some of the daily struggles of a teen today.
1. You would be expected to do dumb stuff like in movies: While some parents are pretty conserved, some are very open. Nevertheless, if you are a teen you would be expected to develop stupid crushes, involve in bad companies, watch porn regularly, have bad sleeping and eating schedule and all kinds of things they show in movies. While such cases take place, your parents won’t see what kind of child you are and automatically assume that you must be involved in any of such activities even if you hate those ideas.
2. Trust- mistrust: When you grow up, your lovely, happy bubble pops and you are faced with the real world. You need a real friend to guide you through whom, you unfortunately don’t get on Walmart. You are blamed for things you never did and are misunderstood super easily. You don’t know if you have anyone or not and you sure as hell can’t trust anybody.
3. Career pressure: A person who has lived only 16-17 years is expected to make a decision which will affect all his/her life. Yet that person is called a child. What kind of system is this? Seriously how can a person know what (s)he will like after 34 years!? That person has to study, go to college, study more, do jobs ultimately to do what? Live peacefully and then die. Wow. We are living peacefully now and death is same for all thank you.
4. Finding oneself: This is the most exhilarating yet the most difficult part of teenage which continues throughout life. No matter how old you are, you will always discover new things about you. It’s just that a teenager finds this phase extremely difficult to go through. They don’t know what to do in certain situations, they experience things they never imagined and everything goes on too fast. By the time they get older, they get used to it. That’s why they are called adults.
So these were some of the struggles everyone surely must have faced in their life. Being in the Gen-Z, I can’t say how much the older generations find this relatable but they too must have found this at least a bit relatable. So now, onto the song of the day!!
Butterfly by BTS. The song is about a person’s feelings whose lived one is suicidal. The beats, music and vocals are simply so soothing and calming like they are actually there with you.
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