I read a post today saying, “if you are feeling like you are not enough, remember that the younger you wanted to have the life the current you has.” Someone had commented under it that they definitely did not ever wish to be in their current situation. I pondered if this applies to me, and got surprised when I didn’t find any answer. Out of all the shit I haven’t figured out, I didn’t really think this would be one of them. I thought I just wanted to be a person my younger self would feel safe with, but that was after I grew up. I have no clue if the younger me wanted the life I have right now. I don’t even remember what the younger me wanted, I am sort of blanked out. All I remember is that she wanted to be free and independent. I guess I am working on it and have partially achieved that. I am definitely not free right now, I have mental illnesses and a ridiculously busy routine. I am not independent as well, there is a lot that I need to learn and earn. Let’s see if I can get there someday (will probably die before that and honestly the latter is better).
Song of the day!!
Walls Could Talk by Halsey: Remix by Nico Collins. I was already mad I didn’t find this song earlier, now I find a version where Collins makes a remix too!?!? How the fuck do I not know!???
What if we could grown our food? Not the raw ingeredients like tomator, wheat, etc. but the food. Like if you plant wheat and garlic then you get garlic bread. Put wheat and an egg in a hole in your backyard and you get french toast.
Mass production of delicious food? Yes
Will it be produced on time? No
But the idea is still nice!
Song of the day!!
Dating myself by Sad Alex. A song about loving yourself and being single. The soft music and vocals act like perfect puzzle pieces to the lyrics.
When your adults tell you something, you are expected to listen to them. Listening to them makes them happy. When you were a kid, you listened to everything they said. “Don’t be friends with that kid, get full marks, wear this, eat that”, they said all sorts of things and you did all sorts of things because you wanted to make them happy. As you grew up, you started finding things that made you happy. You told them about it and they weren’t too happy about it. They said they would like you to do something else. You did what they wanted. You liked seeing that proud smile on their face. You never wanted it to fall- and that kept you going to do things you didn’t really like. But soon you didn’t enjoy it anymore. You wanted to do what you wanted. So you became brave and told them that you would only do what you wanted. They didn’t say anything. They didn’t disagree. But they didn’t get happy like they did earlier. You started doubting yourself “am what I doing right?” “am I really made for this?”. After all, you didn’t want to be a disappointment. But you believed in yourself and went ahead. You did great. But they weren’t very happy like you expected them too. “I worked so hard and they aren’t happy. I must be doing something wrong”. You still don’t give up on yourself and slowly you realise it doesn’t matter if they are happy with it or not. You are happy and that’s all that matters. You are you. You can’t always keep everyone happy.
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind by Logic. The song is about every person who is told by the world that they are not good enough. The song is a masterpiece, it’s lyrics are raw and is so worth listening.
Since the last few days, I have been only publishing about things in life. So I wanted to write about a few things that have happened in the past two weeks.
My birthday was on 16. I went out with friends on 26 coz we had exams around the date. I swear my principal deliberately schedules an exam on 17 every year to not let me enjoy the day!! Going out to celebrate my birthday was a big step for me. I cut a cake first time in the last 2 years. It was…different. I grew a lot in the whole process of planning to proceeding to the aftermath. We had a few complications and all, but we managed it. I am really grateful for my friends. I don’t know if they will be there forever, but I want to enjoy right now. Gamble a little more.
As you all might be knowing is that my Lappy broke down recently (read Me & my laptop and RIP Lappy to see the roller coaster I went on). So now Lappy is away, we sold it and I got a new laptop thanks to my amazing mum. Her name is Peace and she came yesterday.
Another one is that I might be learning scooty soon. Yes, I am a 16 year old girl who doesn’t know how to drive scooty. But hey! It’s not my fault I don’t have the conditions to learn a scooty!
That’s all I did in the past 2 weeks. My life isn’t very interesting but it isn’t that boring either. Chuck that! I just wanted to share this stuff with someone so I did! And now, here is the song of the day!!
Cold Water by Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber & MØ. The song has a really positive vibe with its music, beats and drops. It talks about two friends ready to help each other in any situation. The word nice fits perfectly for this song.
Maybe. This word is so familiar to everyone. But if you think about it, this word alone has quite a deep meaning. It’s neither yes nor no. It raises your hopes but it also crushes you. You can’t even blame anything properly, coz you already knew your hopes will get crushed. It’s a shackle. It’s an addiction. It has tied everyone down. Who invented the word ‘maybe’? That guy was straight up genius. He created the word and put the whole world in a loophole. He knew this word would cause ruckus in every individual’s life. He was a mastermind. He knew humans’ weakness-hope. He knew they would want hope in the situations that clearly say ‘no’. He knew it from the start. He just gave a name to that feeling.
Coco by 24kGoldn ft. DaBaby. The song is a bop with its vocals, music and beats.
Being a Teenager has its perks but downfalls too. I’ll cover some of the daily struggles of a teen today.
1. You would be expected to do dumb stuff like in movies: While some parents are pretty conserved, some are very open. Nevertheless, if you are a teen you would be expected to develop stupid crushes, involve in bad companies, watch porn regularly, have bad sleeping and eating schedule and all kinds of things they show in movies. While such cases take place, your parents won’t see what kind of child you are and automatically assume that you must be involved in any of such activities even if you hate those ideas.
2. Trust- mistrust: When you grow up, your lovely, happy bubble pops and you are faced with the real world. You need a real friend to guide you through whom, you unfortunately don’t get on Walmart. You are blamed for things you never did and are misunderstood super easily. You don’t know if you have anyone or not and you sure as hell can’t trust anybody.
3. Career pressure: A person who has lived only 16-17 years is expected to make a decision which will affect all his/her life. Yet that person is called a child. What kind of system is this? Seriously how can a person know what (s)he will like after 34 years!? That person has to study, go to college, study more, do jobs ultimately to do what? Live peacefully and then die. Wow. We are living peacefully now and death is same for all thank you.
4. Finding oneself: This is the most exhilarating yet the most difficult part of teenage which continues throughout life. No matter how old you are, you will always discover new things about you. It’s just that a teenager finds this phase extremely difficult to go through. They don’t know what to do in certain situations, they experience things they never imagined and everything goes on too fast. By the time they get older, they get used to it. That’s why they are called adults.
So these were some of the struggles everyone surely must have faced in their life. Being in the Gen-Z, I can’t say how much the older generations find this relatable but they too must have found this at least a bit relatable. So now, onto the song of the day!!
Butterfly by BTS. The song is about a person’s feelings whose lived one is suicidal. The beats, music and vocals are simply so soothing and calming like they are actually there with you.
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