Not a surprise you have been busy since the morning.
I know. I have more to do though, no rest as of now.
Why don’t you just quit?
Quit what? Studying? Hell no,
Quit dancing. It takes a hell lot of your time and energy.
But I like it, why should I quit?
It takes almost all of your waking hours to train. You are always exhausted and you have a career to focus on than pursuing a hobby.
But life would be empty without this daily chaos. It’s a bliss for me to be doing what I am doing right now. I am balancing things quite well. My studies aren’t left behind much, and I haven’t taken up any internships or jobs to not burden myself, so I guess it’s going good.
Exactly. You are not doing anything other than dance and study. When was the last time that you wrote? When you researched properly and wrote something, or maybe continued your book? Your resume has been dead in this department, are you expecting to build a career like this? With average marks? Your field requires constant toil. You have to focus on this than a mere hobby.
I mean, yes my career is my priority, but I only have these couple years to explore this side of the fence too.
Then do so alone. Don’t stop dancing, but reduce the time you spend on it everyday. There are a lot of things to do and you know you have been giving dance much more priority than it needs. You have responsibilities to fulfill.
I don’t want to miss out though.
You have gathered enough experience by now. You know how things work and you have learned a lot. You have to work on your own to improve, which you can do alone. You can miss out on the drills here but not the steps that will make your career. You cannot afford to dedicate yourself to an activity that will take you off-track. Wake up.
Song of the day!!
Dirty Thoughts by Chloe Adams. It’s the vocals in this song that make it good.
From what I have seen and heard around, at times people tend to bind the ones they love. They don’t wish for the other to stay away even a little, or may want to be the priority all the time, or any other reason. But it seems wrong to tie yourself or the other person down in the name of love. Human relationships are a part of human life, they aren’t the whole life. Other important things are bound to arise and if you wish for the people you love to always choose you, you need to understand that it is not possible. Everyone needs to fulfill their own needs too and other parts of life demand attention too. You can’t always melt into big blob and make every decision as if you two are one. That’s not how it works.
Confessions by Jamie Fine. Sweet, smooth vocals that make this track a melodious lullaby, with some hardcore bridge.
Do you ever have conflicting thoughts about something that doesn’t require much thought? Let’s take a huge party as an example. Everyone says that you shall go. You know you will enjoy it. You wanted to go earlier. But now suddenly you aren’t sure. There is some unknown feeling holding you back. You’re scared you’ll have a good time. You’re scared life will really let you live for once. What if you find it pleasurable and get addicted to loudness and crowd? It’s like some ropes are keeping you hung upon a wall. You don’t know if the wall’s titled comfort zone or safe zone. Pros and cons aren’t working, and neither is your gut. Shall you take the risk when you’ve never lost sight except now?
Song of the day!!
You Don’t Even Know Me by Faouzia. A bold track about individuality. I love the production and mixing, they really emphasise on the instrumentals.
It’s kinda strange how one doesn’t understand you yet expects you to understand them. They call you in times of need, but never pick up when you need them. They will explain their feuds to everyone except the person they are tangled with. They don’t care enough. If they did, they would have tried to reconcile. They didn’t. They never did. Maybe they played. Maybe they are too different. Both are equally disturbing as they are comforting. What matters is that it’s time to move on. Move on because they aren’t the ones. Move on because they ain’t worth the time and effort. Move on because at the end, you’ll always find someone better, who truly deserves you. You head may be messy now and everything may be scattered, but the coast will clear soon. Patience and resistance are the keys. Hold tight and stay with you. It’s time to let go.
If anyone has found this paragraph above relatable or the emotions familiar, then this is your sign to let go of those toxic people. No one, absolutely no one shall have the liberty to use you. What you’re feeling is completely valid. You’re feeling this way because somewhere, sometime you saw the signs. It’s alright if you don’t have multiple bulliten points to claim in order to break up. One is enough- “They ain’t worth it means they ain’t worth it.” It’s their problem to deal with it, not yours. Your well being is far greater than “What will others think?”
Song of the day!!
Better days by NEIKED, Mae Muller & Polo G. A pop song with the 80s, 90s theme.
People will always say, but they would never know; nor would they ever help.
When a person decides to throw something away, it means that that thing is no longer of use and is nothing but waste. Though sometimes, it’s all in your head.
You run away from your friends, people will say you are ruining your perfect friendship. They only know what’s on the outside. Sure laughing and having fun seems perfect, but they don’t know the amount of effort you have made with no results. Giving up on college makes you seem you like a loser, no matter how much you have struggled and wish to have a new start. Breaking up with the “dream” lover, cutting off the “caring” family, no one does that without thinking shit through. People will always say “it’s all in your head, it’s ok” but they don’t have to be right! You are getting these thoughts because its high time you actually take a break. Break from that exhaustion and tries and meaningless goals. If forever isn’t possible, then at least for now. People don’t know what’s going on, they don’t know what this feeling is, it’s alright. Leave them. Look for something beneficial for YOU, not something that SEEMS beneficial. Close your eyes, breathe and create all those fake scenarios you crave to be real. Let loose a little bit.
People will always say something, but they would never know the truth; nor would they help.
Song of the day!!
You don’t know by Katelyn Tarver. This song reveals the innermost thoughts of a person wanting to ive up in a blissfully comforting manner with soulful beats, music and expressive voice.
Overthinking wins everytime, will you ever be able to defeat it?
Have you ever felt like your mind is clear but confused at the same time? You have a problem, you thought into it and found a solution, but the thought still lingers there? The answer seems to be bugging you. So you try and find some other solution. But now you are confused which solution is more effective. You weigh the pros, cons, risks, after-effects you will get from every solution and finally draw a final conclusion. You have made up your mind to do it and not back down. But the dread is still nagging your head. As the moment is approaching, you try to keep away from rethinking your decision. Like a chandelier, your overthinking is dangling above you threatning to fall any moment. But you stand strong holding onto the ropes tight to not let it injure you. The moment is here. You are sweating like crazy and your mind has gone berkserk again. You try your best to remain composed and you succeed. The moment passes. You breathe a sigh of relief and let go of the rope. Crap, the chandelier is falling! You have to act fast now! Step aside, step aside, step aside! You step aside at the last moment. The chandelier crashes straight to the ground, shattering. Phew! You saved yourself! Overthinking lost this time! Finally!
Drunk Dazed by ENHYPHEN. The song has beats, music, and vocals that drown you in them. Upbeat, dark lyrical song, good choice to make choreos on.
My experience of overcoming my shyness and finally making friends.
I recently realised one thing. Every school has that weird kid, who doesn’t talk much but tries to mingle with everyone, who jumps from one group to another. I was that weird kid.
I didn’t tell a lot about me to people. I would make pointless conversations and babbled literally anything whenever someone talked to me. It is like everything in me shut down upon human interaction. But I managed by speaking some thing or the othee and get through. That’s why it is hard for my mom to accept that I am not as much of a social butterfly as she thought. Anyways, I realised my shutting down of brain a year ago and I tried to improve. Of course, the outcome wasn’t the best but hey I tried! After that I decided to keep my conversations to minimal. I don’t speak unless it is needed. And this has really helped in decreasing the number of embarrassing moments in front of strangers.
April 2019, I still remember the days when I stepped in my new school and whenever someone tried to talk to me, I messed up. Not always but mostly. But somehow, I am glad I messed up. I am glad I was frank and put my shyness behind. Because by doing that, I found my friends.
We went to a school trip when 7 months of the session were already passed (Nov 2019). By this time, I was the certified outcast. So while my whole class sat at the extreme back, I had to sit in middle-front. There also, I didn’t have a lot of choice in seats as the only available was with a girl from a different section. In front of that girl, two of her friends also sat. We didn’t interact one bit while going, just singing songs with the others who were around us. While coming back, they were talking about something and my butt intervened. We started talking and it was a pleasant conversation. Apparantly, they had more friends but they were in a different bus.
They invited me to have lunch with them the next day. I went. Courageous? I know! They introduced me to their other friends. These guys were a total of 2 boys and 6 girls. Now, 2 of those new girls didn’t like me simply because their friends hung out with me during the lunch instead of them. The boys were chill. The next day I went with them again and this became my routine. Slowly, the girls who didn’t like me also started liking me. Well… not both but one of them. She realised it’s not my fault and that she was just being a bitch because the group was going through a hard time. I got the info and helped them. Like seriously their fight was so easy to solve, they just needed to communicate that’s all. Now that I helped them out, everyone liked me and decided to make me part of the group.
That one bitchy girl hated my guts and then turned other 3 girls against me too. They thought I came to sabotage their friendships or something. Wow!
Days, months, a year passed. And now my friends are those two boys and that one self- reflecting girl. 2 of them left the group, the others are too much to handle. They are the kind of people who don’t like it when you don’t invite them on your birthday even if you’re not friends at all. They will shamelessly hate on you but expect you to involve them. Yeah, those kind of bitches. I have to interact with them sometimes only because of my friends but I maintain my distance. My friends know it and they support me. Only my girl friend talks to them coz they are besties since a long time, but the boys and I keep our distance.
Anyways, that was my storytime. I really wanted to share this because this was an adventure for me. It still is. Making friends is not easy at all and we are never certain of some things. But what we can do is move on and enjoy! And don’t let your shyness get the best of you. Sometimes, it is okay to loosen up and have fun. Don’t tell them everything about yourself. If they ask, dodge the questions or straight up tell them you don’t want to talk about it. One thing you always need to remember is that when you are doing something you like and think your friend might not like you like that, recall that they are supposed to be your friend. They should accept you the way you are. So be confident and be bold! Coz no one will love you unless you love and respect yourself!
Now, it’s time for the song of the day!!
Comin’ Thru The Stereo by Hollywood Undead. A rock song which is simply dope. The song is addressing inner battles and flexing at the same time. The vocals, as always are so freaking good! They come off so strong I wonder how much they had to train themselves
Since the last few days, I have been only publishing about things in life. So I wanted to write about a few things that have happened in the past two weeks.
My birthday was on 16. I went out with friends on 26 coz we had exams around the date. I swear my principal deliberately schedules an exam on 17 every year to not let me enjoy the day!! Going out to celebrate my birthday was a big step for me. I cut a cake first time in the last 2 years. It was…different. I grew a lot in the whole process of planning to proceeding to the aftermath. We had a few complications and all, but we managed it. I am really grateful for my friends. I don’t know if they will be there forever, but I want to enjoy right now. Gamble a little more.
As you all might be knowing is that my Lappy broke down recently (read Me & my laptop and RIP Lappy to see the roller coaster I went on). So now Lappy is away, we sold it and I got a new laptop thanks to my amazing mum. Her name is Peace and she came yesterday.
Another one is that I might be learning scooty soon. Yes, I am a 16 year old girl who doesn’t know how to drive scooty. But hey! It’s not my fault I don’t have the conditions to learn a scooty!
That’s all I did in the past 2 weeks. My life isn’t very interesting but it isn’t that boring either. Chuck that! I just wanted to share this stuff with someone so I did! And now, here is the song of the day!!
Cold Water by Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber & MØ. The song has a really positive vibe with its music, beats and drops. It talks about two friends ready to help each other in any situation. The word nice fits perfectly for this song.
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