Is this what home feels like? You come after a long day and can finally allow yourself to feel tired? You don’t have to pause the music when nearing the building, you don’t have to carefully scan everything around. You drop your bag, have some snack, and can work or relax as you wish. There is no one to watch every move you make, nor does your mind start screaming at you for every second you are not working, surprisingly. You long to stay there, you are eager to get back when out, is this what a home feels like? Suddenly there is no place better than this?
Song of the day!!
Power Over Me by Dermot Kennedy. This song is here for its vocals and intense yet calm music.
If you use something the right way, you become more powerful than you think
There are times when I find songs that express a problem in a very relatable way. It feels comforting to know I’m not the only one. And sometimes, I come across tracks that make me think, for they illustrate the bigger picture of the situation. They make me reflect. A problem can have more than one aspect and can be solved in more than one way. Even those that I have never encountered before. And combining these two, I have saved myself from a million downfalls. I lean on relatable songs for comfort, and I learn from the reality checks offered by the latter. Music has always pushed me forward. And I know I have shared my passion for it hundreds of times but I just wanted to be grateful for it. Hence this blog.
Song of the day!!
The Itch by Neffex & Josh A. An upbeat track with the harsh, raw truth of suffering many face.
Bloganuary day 9:What is the most memorable gift you have ever received?
…
None. I haven’t been on the receiving end a lot and don’t have a particular one of a kind gift.
But I am grateful for the gift of music. I am glad I found music when I did as my solace. I am glad I can understand music and create my own. I am glad my ears and throat are in the condition to make music. I am glad music is there. That’s the greatest gift of all for me.
Song of the day!!
The Wolf You Feed by Nita Strauss ft. Alissa White-Gluzz. A heavy rock track doubling as a study buddy.
At times all you need to do is cherish what you have. The smallest of things can be the greatest support in times of need. So just try and be a little grateful for the warm clothes or the food or water you have. Many don’t even have that and we are lucky to have these blessings.
Song of the day!!
If You Don’t Like the Story Write Your Own by Witt Lowry. A tough love rap to tell you it’s far from over.
At least now I know what to expect when I go to college lol.
So I went to a college fest 2 days back. I am school student but got entry because of some connections. There was a flashmob and musical performances by the college students. There were 5 students who performed as a band and they are one of the best rookie artists I have ever seen.
One of the most renowned comedians did a show. I knew about the comedian and was looking forward to his show and tbh it was so worth it. An established dj also came who literally had to tone down his music in between to hype up he crowd all the time😂😂. And honestly, if you have to do that then your music really isn’t too great. Despite that, it was good enough to jump around and party.
A renowned singer also came. He came as a replacement to an even bigger popstar. I knew how famous he is but I didn’t know any of his songs. Yet I was captured by the music and enjoyed his show. I looked at him interacting with the audience and singing so heartily with all the stage lights focused on him, and I thought how I would look up there. I imagined myself performing and it gave me even more thrill than the performance going on in front of me.
I also had my first ever boba tea and I understand why people are so obsessed with it. That shit is legit heaven. It was so refreshing I felt sad when it finished. The little balls (idk what they’re callled) though were bland and infact deteoriated the taste.
My friends were jealous duh. But they were also happy I got to enjoy.
I also realised that I was alone in the midst of a humongous crowd for around 3-4 hours and I didn’t feel much anxiety rushing through my spine. No tremors, no anxiety attacks, no claustrophobia. Slight dizziness, sweating and a bit of breathing problems because I was literally in the middle of hundreds of people. My feet were hurting by the end of it.
I am actually grateful for this chance because I was already craving dancing my head off without any worries and I achieved that to a certain extent. No matter if I smashed someone’s foot or if I stared at someone too long, I don’t have to worry because I am never gonna see those people again. This outing worked as a reminder how I can enjoy myself with my own company and don’t need to have someone with me at all times.
There were so many couples dancing to the romantic music. I was just laughing and thinking “After 2 months you’d be crying over these videos only.” Idk why I am like this but I love it lol.
Song of the day!!
Bitches broken hearts by Billie Eilish. I love how the low vocals match the tempo of the music perfectly.
People feel grateful for a lot of things, I feel grateful if I am able to feel. Being numb sucks at times.
My mental health hasn’t been in a very good condition, hell it is terrible. I even went on a hiatus in between. Roughs come, shit goes down, that’s normal. But recently I progressed. I got the ability to cry.
Since idk how long I always felt heavy but wasn’t able to cry no matter how hard I tried. One day I got so fed up I went to my terrace, my safe place, sat and decided I will cry like a little kid, even if for a brief moment. I started recalling some past events and the pent up shit led me to shouting “I hate this, lemme cry, lemme just cry!” I urged to get an anxiety attack because at least that would make me cry. Nothing happened. I tried hard. I recalled all the dark times, the nightmares…nothing. I sat there thinking how I ended up like this. I wanted to cry so bad. Crying enables me to think as the pressure is taken off. Without crying I have all the weight to myself and it suffocates me. My nose flares, my chest heaves but there is no sign of water in my eyes, and this is not what I wanted. I shouted and prayed to have the ability to feel back, at least a bit. Somehow I whined and cried for a second. I felt it. The tears disappeared as soon as they came, but at least they came. I was so glad and so grateful that I was able to cry like a kid for a moment, I started rejoicing. I tried crying more but at the same time, I was grateful over the fact that I shed a tear. I wasn’t able to cry again…that day.
I cried a few days later over something, I don’t remember what. But I cried for about 2-3 minutes. And I was happy I could at least cry.
I cried a few days back. I had a mild panic attacl and I cried hard. And while crying, the thought “at least I am able to cry” overpowered the pain. This thought was circling my brain and I was glad the pain was there. I could cry.
I don’t remember anything as to how it felt when I cried, and I am uncertain if I have this ability with me at all times, but I wanted share this little part of me. Because this is progress for me. The smallest of progress counts.
Song of the day!!
This feeling by The Chainsmokers ft. Kelsea Ballerini. This song is every teenager’s brain. For something or the other, we always feel disconnected from the world. For someone it might be crush, for me it is singing, it’s different for all but the feeling is the same. I like the upbeat music and the detailed lyrics. They elaborate on trust issues and loneliness in a simple manner.
I’m curled up in a ball because I want to hide after writing this (just introvert things)
Today’s topic is 5 things I am grateful for. This is something I never really talk about. Everything I have ever been grateful for is mostly taken away, life doesn’t like seeing me happy so I don’t let it know what I really love. Stupid and delusional, I know! But it’s the only way that lets me feel in control- not letting others know about me and myself. I’m trying to change and open up more so this can be a step of progress towards the goal.
I am grateful to know what I am good at and my passion. As I’ve shared before, I have been in love with music and dance. I write too, not only blogs but novels too (they aren’t complete yet). I am good at art and theatre too. And reading is my solution to everything. So I am grateful to myself that I know what I like and regularly spend time to train my skills.
I am grateful to myself to know and undertand that I have my own comfort space and I don’t have to be influenced by anyone else. I love myself just the way I am. I have insecurities but I am trying to improve. I always make sure to spend time alone and have a talk with myself to clear my mind from anything that’s weighing me down. Many a times talking to myself lets me get a clearer view of things and even open wounds I never thought I had. I rarely ever skip this part of my routine, it’s my me time and no one is allowed to interrupt it.
I am grateful to all those people who are fighting to bring a change in this world. Artists, journalists, activists, social workers, everyone because each hand counts in a fight for change. Be it any kind of change- acceptance of lgbtq+ community, respect for sex workers, donations for environmental issues, mental health awareness, help for orphans and old-aged and many more, every change needs time, effort and people who make the change. So thank you to everyone who is trying to make the place a better world.
I am grateful to music for always being there with me. I thank all the artists in this world for making awesome pieces and sharing them with us so we have something to lean on no matter what the situation is. Music has saved me and this might sound very common and cheesy but I believe music can do anything.
I am grateful to all the hardships I have faced in my life. I haven’t lived long but I still experienced a lot at souch a young age. Every experience gave some lesson to learn and even though it is so hard coping up, I wouldn’t want to change anything because this is also an experience and it will pass too. These changes and challenges have made me so much more mature. I still have a lot to learn, and I know I will panic in future but then I’ll read this blog and laugh!
I am also grateful to everyone who read my blogs. This lets me knows there are people who find my blogs interesting and have a similar interest. To those who like and comment on my blogs, thank you so much for the appreciation. This means you read and think about it. Thank you so much for reading!
Song of the day!!
Love the way you lie by Skylar Grey. I like this version the most out of all. Grey’s vocals are full of pain and sadness and it’s really amazing how she delivers the song so well. The artist didn’t have an official video so I put this instead hehe.
mysticalsoulblogs 