future – mysticalsoulblogs

The one who wants to do everything

Bloganuary day 20: What’s your dream job?

I don’t have any particular dream job in mind honestly, I want to do all that I love. I want to be a successful criminal psychologist. I want to have my books published. I want to be reputed as a writer. People should be in awe when I arrive, that damn just read her works! I want to play music. I don’t know about being an established artist and all, I just want to be near it. Play by myself in my little studio and just stay connected with it. That’s what my dream life as a criminal psychologist and a writer is. I hope I can get there someday.

Other than, in fictional sense, I’d love to open a library cafe. People would come to use the library and sip comforting beverages. It would also accomodate a bookstore, where second hand books in good quality could be sold. A peaceful, calm place.

Song of the day!!

Grave by Tate McRae. A soft track with a relaxing melody.

Thinking about the future

life events and daily life

Bloganuary day 5: Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

I’d say future.

I spend a lot of time overthinking my past, pondering over the happenings, and what it led me to become. The anxiety I got doesn’t go away. But I also think a fuck lot about my future too. Not only about what I want to do in the future, but also daily life. I think about the assignments I have to submit, the choreographies I have to practice, blogs I have to write. I plan my day ahead when I am busy. This may seem normal to a lot of people, but for a person like me who this is what change is. Daily life changes are hard to deal with when you are trying to lift yourself up. The past haunts you and you have to learn shedding the weight while learning to carry the weight. So there is no option other than onwards and upwards.

I think my overthinking proportion is maybe 48-49% past and 52% future. They are almost the same, future is thought about more though. I think this is a good sign. This is what should be done, right? There is a lot that needs to be done. I’ll do it. I have to.

Song of the day!!

Fuck This Town by Ericdoa & Glaive. An upbeat, party track that gets the vibe.

There ain’t no present

Either I revolutionised the whole world or I just need a break

Okay so I have this spiralling thought that every second is the past and every second is the future. Past because we never realize nor feel a passing second. When we think of something that has already happened, it is in the past. Future because we never know what will happen in the next second. In a way, every second is unpredictable. We live on the basis of our experiences of the past. And we always work for the future, not the present. So a present doesn’t really exists. Am I making any sense to anyone?

Song of the day!!

That Bitch by Bea Miller. The ultimate track for women empowerment parades.

What am I getting myself into?

I wanna be the biggest performer. I’m working hard to train myself in singing and dancing. My career would demand constant spotlight and social interactions, neither of which fit well with me. I hate social interactions, public gatherings and any kind of attention. Collaborations, connections, teamwork with staff, cameras, interviews….what am I getting myself into?

Doubts creep in if I would be able to make it? Am I capable enough? Will I really win over my depression and anxiety and take over the world? Would I regret it all? I’m not a psychic so idk about my future, I just know I love these two too much for anything else to weigh more and convince me otherwise. Though currently my mental state isn’t letting me work, but I’ll manage. I did it earlier, I’ll do it now.

I laugh whenever this thought crosses my mind. I am the total opposition of what I want. Seriously, what the hell am I getting myself into?

Song of the day!!

Second Chances by Hollywood Undead. A song screaming at you move on because you only have this moment present to make you life. I won’t say I dedicatedly follow the lyrics, I agree with some while not with some others.