Bloganuary Day 1: What are your biggest challenges?
Why is it that the folks at WordPress always put the first prompt to be one that makes me crib for a couple hours before writing? Why does it always have to be a mind boggling existential question that sends me spiraling!? Why fuck you. No I don’t mean that I love Bloganuary and you’re very nice and awesome and I wish you were a penguin I could cuddle.
…
Maybe this is one of the reasons why my friends call me a child.
Anygays!
I guess the biggest challenge I have is facing people. I am not exactly marvelous at socialising. Either I have this mean side that doesn’t stop being sarcastic or I have this quiet side that doesn’t speak even when asked, even repeatedly. Both are extreme ends that ultimately make me a dumb head in the tug-of-war. Seriously. I blabber stuff, I miss hearing when spoken to, and I don’t understand what is going around. I am so anxious I don’t get the most basic of stuff done right. It’s hard to suddenly try to come out of your shell. But change is never comfortable, that’s what I tell myself. There is a lot of overthinking and a lot of breakdowns. The thought of quitting has popped way more than I expected. It’s really not easy. It sucks more when I can’t get things right. A person is teaching me but I just can’t get it right and does it fuck with my mind and my confidence? Yes!
Another big challenge I have noticed is that I suck at maintaining a diet. I love food. I was quite fat a few years back. And I am proud of losing 10 kgs in 4-5 months by extreme workout and dance and zipping my mouth shut. Now I just don’t. I simply don’t care enough and this needs to stop. I have already gained back some kilos and if this carries on I will hate myself again. So yeah, I’m going to start working on that part too. Personal dieting tip: eat whatever but less.
Song of the day!!
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