It’s getting weird now.
I’m starting to think too much about him.
I’m looking for signs,
Seeking assurance that I’m not the only one,
It’s not just me who is getting nervous,
It’s not just me who is getting butterflies all the goddamn time.
He is looking for love,
I suck at relationships.
He likes love songs,
I am a rock-metal fan.
Yet I find myself being pulled towards him,
Willing to listen to those sappy tracks.
I catch myself imagining scenarios,
Set in the present
And the far future.
I wait for him to text,
I wait for his calls,
Knowing very well we aren’t close enough for all this stuff.
I have been trying so hard for it to not show,
Yet his best friend catches me in the middle of a convo.
It’s so strange.
The way my heart becomes heavy,
The way I wish to do unspeakable things,
Just to be with him.
For no apparent reason,
Without any intention of letting him know.
Does it bother him,
If I cancel for a hangout?
Does it bother him,
If I get close to other guys?
Does he feel the way I feel,
When he converses with other girls?
This pit of possessiveness and jealousy,
I despise not having me under control.
He’s the masochist to my sadist,
We fit well together.
I wish to text him,
But I am not good at all this stuff.
He is a glowing dream who doesn’t have to try,
While I am just another girl,
Too anxious and suicidal,
Charmed by this golden serpent,
Who somehow screwed my locked self up.
I may have gotten a crush and I am not willing to talk about it unless you are giving me tips on how to get rid of it. Help me people.
Song of the day!!
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