Life’s… scary. It’s terrifying, in fact. The way it can turn forever stays unpredictable. Small things can turn way too big, while major things can feel like nothing. The way it switches from emergency to fluffy is the cruelest part. How can it be so gruel, yet so warm at the same time? How is it possible for a person to shatter into a million pieces again while gluing themself together? It’s interesting how some pieces keep sticking, while others fall apart instantly. Maybe there wasn’t enough glue on them, or maybe the glue hadn’t dried. And you never know which piece life decides to spare and which it crushes repeatedly till its irretrievable. Life is scary. One minute it will hand you the glue, the other it will pour acid on it.
What it means to be you and stand up for yourself boldly.
Today I am known to be frank and bold. But I wasn’t always like that. I was too naive. And then my life turned. And no one was there for me. It was then I realised how big of a doormat I was. And then I started to realise and decided to change. And I am still fighitng.
I want to remind everyone what it means to fight in this world.
It means being scared. Scared of the torment, and scared of the outcome if you try to stop the torment.
It means doubts. People will question you for sure. You will also engage in fights. Heck you will doubt your own decision at some points.
It means courage and strong will. But you still won’t back down. It ain’t gonna change if you are always gonna cower.
It means heartbreak. They’ll throw stones at you and pierce your heart. They never thought you could do such a thing!
It means more doubts. You will start understanding their point of view again and leave your thoughts. Just like you are supposed to do. Just like you always did. You will feel guilty. Beware!
It means to build an even stronger will. Sidestep the trap and dance to the rapid heartbeat. You aren’t gonna back down after coming this far. No.
It means patience. You are going through change. And the person in front of you is shocked to see that change. The situation isn’t gonna change quickly, but it will for sure. You gotta be patient and let time play out.
Pro tip: Don’t always attack. Stay stoic and neutral when attacks aren’t required.
It means consistency. You won this battle. But what about the next? Standing up for yourself once ain’t gonna do it. You’re gonna have to do it again and again. With same, as well as different people.
It means constant change, learning and progress. The situation will change, and it would be you you who’s gonna change the most. For the better. You will learn and discover how much bigger the world is, and how many different people are out there. You will learn to deal with it all. The experience is gonna equip you with the ability to deal with all kinds of problems. So embrace the hurt. If you don’t you won’t be able to progress. So keep an open mind, but not to the wrong things.
It means healing. That heartbreak will heal as you grow. Soon it would be nothing. You will have bigger challenges now, and you would be less afraid to deal with whatever life throws at you.
It means getting stronger. Stronger than ever. But don’t stop. Get stronger every day.
What I have written today is something I have experienced, and also seen others experience. Shit is always easier said than done, and your situation may be way worse than that of other’s. But it all changes once you start moving. One step at a time. Your freedom is in your hands. Be mindful. For you.
Song of the day!!
I guess it’s not you by Rosendale. One of my favourite healing songs. The title suggests the theme but don’t think it’s like any other breakup song. The soft music will make you dance and the lyrics will literally make you move on. The vocals will make you close your eyes and all you would want is to listen to it with no disturbance. This track should be the mantra to achieve the maturity and mindfulness it requires after any kind of breakup. Worth the listen I swear.
It’s fun when people are scared of you when you have barely done anything. You haven’t even reacted and they start defending themselves. This happens in 2 cases, either that person is guilty of something or he fears you. Though it’s equally fun to see their reactions of panick while you stand there calmly.
They do something bad but are so scared their guilty concious eats them up and forces them to say something. They think they are clearing their name but instead they trap themselves even more. You just smile, enjoy their panicky state and attack where it hurts the most. Oof the pleasure that hits!
Or they are minding their own business but get even more attentive and concious in your mere presence. They try putting a brave front but are unable to do so because in the back of their mind, all they can think of is your overwhelming presence. You try to hold back your laugh at their clumsiness but what can you do? It’s funny!
Song of the day!!
Unholy by Hollywood Undead. Rock metal song relatable to people who are misunderstood as bad, oh we can be evil you don’t know me honey.
What do I do when that desire resurfaces? The twisting in my stomach isn’t because of hunger. It’s caused by my starvation of something that doesn’t have any substitute. My vision’s getting hazy. My eyes are unable to focus, my pupils are dilated. I want nothing else than fulfilling my desire. Pleasure myself with those beggers looking at me for mercy. I want to unleash it all. My delicate looking stern fingers creating a beautiful mess which is otherwise considered sinister. This very familiar feeling, normal for me, scary for others.
Song of the day!!
Let It Go by Demi Lovato. I like this version more than the one used in frozen, it’s the full, original soundtrack with amazing vocals and lovely high notes. The lyrics talk about the journey of breaking boundaries. The music, especially at the last chorus is so melodic.
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